• Samuel. Fraudster.

    Fraud

    First – a writing update.

    I finally plucked up the courage to let someone read a draft. My writing buddy, Amanda Fleet, published author, soon appearing at Bloody Scotland has looked at Act I of my novel.

    She was, of course, blinded by its brilliance. There may have been one or two tiny constructive criticisms.

    Oh alright, there were lots of criticisms and her eyesight remains fine – but they were all really helpful and she didn’t tell me to give up; so I’m calling it a win. 😉

    Today though, I’m going to share with you a brief email exchange that I had with a Samuel Barton. Please take this as a cautionary tale, although it did give me a laugh too. His proof-reading is worse than mine.

    Samuel is a terribly nice chap, who placed the winning bid on my old laptop, which I was selling on eBay. Concurrent with this email exchange, a fake Paypal email address was sending me entirely fictitious confirmations of payment.

    Hello Seller,
    It is my pleasure to inform you that I have carried out the payment via PayPal to your PayPal id. kindly check your PayPal email address (inbox,spam or junk mail) for the confirmation email of my Payment from PayPal.I also have the email receipt of the payment from PayPal with me.I want the item sent to my Nephew’s address who is living and working in West Africa.I would have asked you to post it to my eBay address in UK but I am presently going to Spain for a business trip. I sincerely hope you could assist me in shipping the item over there so it would be convenient for him to pick it up when it gets there.i also want to use the item as a surprise birthday Gift for his Cousin who is having his birthday next week.Here is the delivering address of my Nephew confirmed with pay pal.

    ADDRESS;
    JERRY DAMMY
    109, Adefemi Street,
    Abesan Ipaja,
    Lagos,23401
    Nigeria.

    I want you to ship the item tomorrow via Royal Mail Airmail International 1st Class Delivery, so that the item will get there ASAP. I’ve added you £130 which should cover for the postage cost. Please get back to me with the shipment details (shipping Bar code) after shipping to the address above.

    NOTE: Please wrap the item carefully, write GIFT on the paper. Please don’t use any other postage service except Royal Mail.

    Am sorry for the inconvenience,please bear with me
    Regards

    Hi Samuel,
    My apologies, but I will only send the item, as advertised, to a UK address.
    Best Regards

    Thanks for your swift response lennon,Am sorry about the address,like have said in my first email that am on a business trip which was an emergency for,I wasn’t xpeceting the item go be posted off the UK and I don’t have any body to receive it for me in the UK,pls for God sake,assist me post it to the address which is also confirmed by paypal,have added £130 also which will cover for the postage cost to the address,I will forever great full if you and leave you a positive feedback if you grant my wish..thanks

    Hi Samuel
    I am sorry to hear of your emergency. It sounds terrible.
    I regret that I will only send the item to the UK address.
    I’ll see if I can live with feedback.
    Perhaps you should withdraw your bid.
    Good luck with your business trip.

    Best Regards

    Lennon you not getting me right..I have nobody to receive it for me in the UK,don’t worry about the item going international as it will get to its destination un damage,pls give this issue a very good consideration…also I can no longer remove my bid again.

    NEW MAIL

    Pls.

    Hi Samuel
    I will not send the item outside of the UK.
    You can retract the bid very simply, click on the following link
    http://offer.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?RetractBidShow
    Best Regards

    cannot do that as i no longer have acess to my money again,and paypal said they cannot refund me as its already in your account,waiting for a proof of postage from you to complete it,pls lennon just do this for me for God’s sake.

    Hi Samuel
    How very unusual. Paypal won’t refund your money? Just go to their Buyer Protection section. They will help you out.
    Best Regards

    I can wait for 21days mate…you not even given me a second think…

    Hi Samuel
    I’m sure you’ll manage OK.
    Best Regards

    Am disappointed in you lennon..thought u said u a writer??a writer doesn’t seem to be this rigid..I read little of your writes and you seem very loyal and cool but you’ve just proof me wrong..its bad ..I though the word says “customer are always right”??,am really unhappy with this and you’ve just embarrassed me in front of my nephew as have told him his package is on the way which he will so anxious to receive soonest,now you’ve got my paypal empty to the extent that I can’t even purchase another as I don’t have enough funds left..its very bad lenno.

    New Mail

    Better still can you dispatch it to my wife in USA???

    Another New Mail

    Pls lennon

    Ah Samuel, the only reason I’m still talking to you is because I’m a writer.
    Your ineffective attempts to defraud me are, in their own way, fascinating.
    Stealing is not a way of life Samuel. You are a fraud. You are not even very good at it.
    So – no I can’t dispatch it to your wife in the USA. Not even if you say pretty please.
    Go get a life Samuel.
    Best Regards

    I have not had a response to this last one yet, nor has Samuel signed up to receive my monthly newsletter. C’mon Sam. You know you want to.

     

  • Writing

    writing image

    Most of you have forgotten, but I am writing a book.

    I’ve forgotten from time to time.

    Fortunately, I somehow snared a writing buddy (Amanda Fleet), who reminds me.

    Amanda and I have been discussing a character in my novel. We’ll call her Natalya. As her name is Natalya that seems the simplest thing to call her.

    She is quite a looker and smarter than the average bear. Amanda wanted to know what made this woman tick. Had I worked out where she was from? Did I know her backstory?

    I began typing an answer to the question. I stopped for a cup of tea. Then I typed some more. And more. Yes, I did know where she was from, what made her tick. To my own great surprise, I know a hell of a lot about her.

    This taught me two things, which I now share with you for free. (Don’t forget to buy the book when I publish it)

    1. When I’m not sure about a character, or a plot, I’m going to write down the question, and then start writing the answer out. It’s amazing what’s in the head, waiting to come out.
    2. You do not need a writing buddy to write a book. But having one makes it a hell of a lot easier.

    Amanda has not mucked about as much as me – you can buy her book here.

    When not toiling away at the book, I have been preparing for my wee walk which is a scant six weeks away now. Stu and I are, in turns, terrified and excited. How bad could it be?

    Right. Off to polish Natalya. (Ahem…)

     

  • Eating Food

    eat-real-food

    Now, we are on to one of my specialised subjects. You don’t get to be twenty one stone without packing away a fair amount of food.

    It is not completely new to me that twenty one stone is, shall we say, a little on the heavy side. Like seven stone on the heavy side.

    As I gave up smoking two and a half years ago, that excuse is wearing a little thin now.

    After hours of research (sitting on my ample arse), I came to the conclusion that I may need to reassess ‘my relationship with food’. This is quite a revelation for someone wholly unaware that I had a relationship with food. Relationship? I just eat the stuff.

    Another conclusion was that moving was far better than not moving. Walking is a big part of that – and I am doing lots of it – as you may have read here. 

    So, the long-suffering Mrs L and I are making some changes to our diet. We are going back to basics – and trying to eat as much ‘good’ stuff as possible, while cutting out the ‘bad’ stuff.

    If you actually get into researching this, you soon realise that nobody has the first clue as to what is good and what is bad. It changes on an almost daily basis.

    I suspect that this is partly because the workings of the human body are incredibly complicated, and partly because the vast majority of the research is funded by people trying to make money.

    The dairy industry for example funds studies that unequivocally demonstrate the health benefits of dairy products. Try telling that to the Association of Soya Bean Producers though…their proof is much more ‘proof-ier’.

    My head hurt as I sorted claim from counter-claim. I opted for an entirely unscientific approach and am making up my own rules…

    1. Lots of colours are nice. (Careful cooking stuff, in case you lose the colour.)
    2. Mucking about (or processing as the industry calls it) with food never does it any good.
    3. All things are fine – in moderation. (That last word is a challenge for me in many, many areas!)
    4. Cooking is fun.

    So far…so good. We have made more dishes ‘from scratch’. Tasty. We are eating more colourful, unprocessed and uncooked food.

    It’s fun. We ‘feel’ healthy, and we are losing weight. I’m a positive sylph-like figure as I passed the nineteen and a half stone mark. (Admittedly – a bloody big sylph.)

  • Winner!

    The Wrong Kind of Clouds cover

    We have a Winner, Ladies and Gentlemen.

    In my post here, where I interviewed debut novelist Amanda Fleet, I promised that one subscriber would win a copy of ‘The Wrong Kind of Clouds’, which is available here or at your local Amazon store.

    It is a great read and now available both on paper and your favourite e-reader. I urge you to go and check it out. I am lobbying hard for some more adventures for the lead characters, but Amanda is being stubborn. (Yorkshire-born, you know.)

    Read it!

    While I am being bossy, once you have read it, review it. Ultimately, us poor new writers have you guys as our marketing team. The more you review it and recommend it, then the more people get to hear about it and hopefully, buy it. Go on, give a new writer a hand.

    The draw was made yesterday and the first name out of the hat was Jack Dowd. Jack blogs, writes, self-publishes and tweets. Track him down here on his blogJack – you are a winner!

    Right – I have to get back to writing, working and all sorts of other w’s (No dirty comments please!)