Maybe the Norsemen were onto something. Loki, the God of Mischief, has come into my life this week. There's an argument that he rules supreme worldwide at the moment.

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Loki and Middle-Age

When I was younger, I needed an A4, two-page per day planner to accommodate my schedule, to-do list and notes. The day began at six and rarely finished before midnight. These days, if somebody suggests dinner on Saturday, I might reply, "Hmm...I'm already out on Thursday night." Whether it be wisdom, indolence or experience, I rarely schedule more than a few things in a day.

This week, however, there's stuff going on. A team is painting the perimeter fences, walls, and parts of the house. "The Beast", Mrs L's SUV needs a service. The heating furnace is making a dodgy noise and so will be inspected. There have even been social events. I know. Tough to believe.

Loki and German Cars

BMW service in Cyprus is not quite the same as it was in the UK, except for the eye-watering prices. Reverting to my younger self, I made a plan.

  • Drop Mrs L to work for 0715. (15 minute drive away)
  • Decorators Briefing at 0745.
  • Drop BMW off at 0930. (20-30 minute drive away)
  • Have friend drive me back from BMW
  • Collect Mr L from work at 1615.
  • Take Mrs L to BMW to collect Beast (NB - Service closes at 1645)
  • Return home.

It's not exactly climbing the Eiger is it?

The Beast is in for a standard service. - Due to some controversy over a third-party airbag supplier, BMW will replace that too. Fingers crossed that nothing else comes up.

All went swimmingly until I picked up Mrs L, and headed off to BMW.

"Ah, Mr Lennon. I tried to ring you."

I checked my phone to discover that there had been a missed call 9 minutes ago, although I had not heard it ring. I wouldn't have answered it anyway, as I was driving, and Kyproulla, my Nissan March (with the heart of a Ferrari), does not have Bluetooth (or even a radio, to be fair).

"What's the problem?" My wallet was twitching nervously.

"Trouble with the software update"

"Have you tried rebooting it?" I like to be helpful. "Why did you call me just now? Only this morning we discussed where I live, how far away it is and that I could only collect Mrs L at 1615."

She looked uncomfortable briefly before rejoining, "I called as soon as I found out". As if that answers the question.

I sighed. "What time do you estimate I can collect it tomorrow?"

"Probably after two. We're waiting for the airbag from Nicosia."

Software update, eh?

This leaves me a short window to collect the car. Some time between 1400 and 1645. Given that I record a podcast at 1700, this is further narrowed to between 1400 and 1530 (allowing thirty minutes to dispute the inevitable extra charges). The BMW expectation is that I will be able to put a friend on standby to await their call (which I'll bet comes after 1500) and drive me down.

I'm resigned to the possibility that a standard car service at a prestige brand service centre will run into a third day, at the end of which, I'll be given a detailed invoice in triplicate for the best part of a thousand euros.

That's Loki for you. Or maybe BMW Cyprus are just crap.

I have thoughts on more important stuff, but I'll save that for a separate post.

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PS. BMW called at 11.30 and I got the car back on Thursday. I'll bet you sleep better knowing that.

PPS. I shall try to be less self-indulgent and dull going forward.