Mental Health

Here I am, careering towards fifty-five and out of nowhere, I meet depression for the first time. I have had a privileged life and no direct experience of "the black dog" until the last few weeks.

Last year, I read no newspapers, and my podcast diet was mostly privileged white guys blowing smoke up Apple's, umm, jumper.

I started listening to political podcasts. The News Agents and The Rest is Politics, both of which have American offshoots. Newscast from the BBC was next, alongside Battleground Ukraine.

These are all excellent productions from quality journalists. Every day, I have listened to a new world unfolding around us.

I'm, in rotation, terrified, horrified and disgusted.

It turns out that spending my days terrified, horrified, and disgusted is really not good for my well-being. My stress levels have gone through the roof.

The Precipice

The United States voted against a UN resolution condemning the Russian invasion of Ukraine. It has ruled out military enforcement of any security undertakings given to Ukraine in the event of a ceasefire. In fact, the Defence Secretary has determined that any peacekeeping force would not be NATO badged. Why did he say that? It's simple, really. Article five of the NATO treaty established collective defence. An attack on one is an attack on all. What Mr Hegseth is saying is that if Mr Putin attacked a peacekeeping force in Ukraine, the US would not consider it their obligation to defend their allies.

Long story short. The UN is finished. NATO is finished. Two of America's greatest achievements cast aside.

An argument can be made that President Trump has injected energy and urgency into planning the security of the continent. Indeed, European nations have allowed themselves to become dependent on the US for underwriting continental security. When the Iron Curtain fell, Europe assumed the Cold War had been won and collectively ignored the ex-USSR. Even as Putin rose and exerted muscle to bring "the fringes" back under control, Europe skipped along Pollyanna-like, humming a jaunty tune. President Trump has undoubtedly focused European minds.

Now, all Europeans look at images of Putin, shiver and hold our loved ones close. We look to the West and see haughty disinterest. Defence spending is increasing in all European countries. Germany will once again set its factories to building arms.

Ultimately, the US has every right to choose an isolationist policy. Mr Trump is the duly-elected President of the United States of America. However, if I might risk a couple of observations?

  1. Isolationism and its brother, protectionism, are proven methods of destroying one's own economy. #justsayin'.
  2. The USA has three equal arms of government. Often referred to as "checks and balances". From over here, it looks as though the balance might be a tiny bit off.
  3. One possible analysis is that the US is weakening its alliances, trashing its economy, and ceding soft power to China and Russia by abandoning international aid. Should I mention that the US Military depends on immigration?

Still, I'm sure the United States of America will eventually sort itself out. As Mr Churchill is alleged to have opined, "Americans can always be trusted to do the right thing, once all other possibilities have been exhausted."

I mourn UN and NATO. Imperfect though they were.

The West must continue to work to bring America back from the brink but must also prepare for the possibility that it will fail.

Diplomacy

I watched open-mouthed as President Trump and Vice-President Vance punched down on President Zelensky of Ukraine in the Oval Office. On TV. I felt physically sick.

In a scant thirty days, President Trump has upended the world and shown the United States to be an unreliable strategic ally and an unreliable trade partner. Still, he and Putin seem to be firm friends, which is nice for them both.

Inevitably, nations will look to reduce reliance on the US, both governmental and corporate. Europe's defence industry will rise again, paradoxically hurting the US economy.

Putin will not go away. He must be stopped.

I'm unsure if the rumbling I hear is thunder, the drums of war or my tummy.

When I'm stressed, I eat, or in the absence of food, drink alcohol. Right now, I have never weighed more. So, I'm listening to fewer podcasts and following the news less closely. I don't want to kill myself before Trump has the chance to do it.

As for the Black Dog, he's backed off now. I can still see him up the road, watching me, but I've sent him packing. Connection with people drove him away.